In Conversation with MILK co-founder Jessica d'Abadie
A very special Milk Journal - meet one of our founders, Jessica, who lives with her husband and three kids in Mullumbimby - Australia.
Self portraits on film, by Jessica
Jessica is a mother & creative—One part of Milk, she first founded the brand with its co-owners in 2019. An Interior Designer by trade, Jess is a creative at heart. After her first son was born, so was Milk—from a desire to solve a problem she experienced in motherhood.
In this special journal, we share a little bit more about one of the women behind Milk, how she juggles her days with her two businesses, a new house build, two sons, and the newest little member of the Milk family, Luana.
Can you tell us a little bit about yourself, the home you live in, and who you share it with?
I live on Bundjalung Country in a town called Mullumbimby in the Byron Bay hinterland. I live here with my husband Josh; Solomon, who is 5; Julius, who is 3; and our newest little girl, Luana, who is 2 months old. About 6 years ago, we were living in Sydney. I fell pregnant with our first son, and we decided to make the move up north.
I was born in Indonesia, and my husband was born in Trinidad & Tobago in the Caribbean. This land felt like home for both of us—the tropical warmth was nostalgic of both of our childhoods—and for me, it was a return to a place where I spent a lot of time during my own childhood. This year, we finally started to build our dream home on the land, and it feels like something we've been waiting forever to do is finally coming to life. It's so exciting.
Do you have any rituals or rhythms as of late that you incorporate into your daily life?
I've been leaning into the simple rhythms of life, making sure I drink a coffee in the morning while it's still warm, taking a moment in the morning with my face in the sun. I've been loving the slow afternoons when our boys come home from school, hanging out together as a family and looking at the progress on our build site. I've been trying to just embrace the beauty in everyday moments, taking them slow and soaking them all up.
What do you do to unwind?
I love to spend time in our garden or in my art studio. I love to paint and do pottery—just sitting by myself in my little studio and making something that comes out of my head. It feels like a form of meditation for me and something that really calms my nervous system down.
What were you doing the day you went into labour?
I was hanging out in my art studio with my mum the morning that I went into labour. I was having contractions, and she was taking some photos of me on her old film camera. I packed my hospital bag and was just trying to keep myself occupied while I waited for my contractions to ramp up. We went into the hospital in Byron Bay at around 10 p.m. that night, and our baby girl was born at 4 a.m. the next morning. Above is a photo of my big belly and some of the things I packed.
What does community look like to you?
For our third baby, we felt so incredibly held by our community. Friends and family—our beautiful parents—all came to support us in so many ways. When I was pregnant, two of my best friends came over and cleaned our house, washed and folded all our baby clothes, brought me frozen meals, and set up the cot for me.
I remember one night when I was around 38 weeks pregnant, at 9 p.m., feeling overwhelmed about the mess the kids had left in the house. I was offloading to one of my girlfriends about it in a voice message, and moments later, she appeared at my door and cleaned it all up.
When our baby was born, a friend organised a meal train for us, and I don't think we cooked a single meal for three weeks. We were so nurtured and supported by our community; it helped us in so many ways to ease into being a family of five. It also just filled me with so much love and gratitude—it's something I'll never forget. Community is the best; I'll forever be supporting mums how I can because that support changes everything.
What made you start Milk, and what were you doing before Milk came to life?Before Milk, I was doing interior design for my own studio, Triibe—which I still run today. It can be full-on running two businesses, but I also have business partners with whom I share Milk and Triibe, which helps to share the load.
Milk came about when I was postpartum with my first child. I was leaking milk everywhere; I'd be racing to the shops because I was out of breast pads or waking up with them all crumpled to the side and milk all over my pyjamas and sheets. I was up at all hours googling "leakproof bra," and nothing existed. One day, I spoke to my dear friend Steph (now business partner) and asked her if there were any leakproof bras she knew of. She said she had the same problem and never found a solution, so we decided to start Milk. We trialled and tested and perfected our bra, and then patented our leakproof technology. We brought on a third business partner (Hi, Tina!), and between raising kids, we juggle this growing business of ours.
Now—breastfeeding my third child, I'm leaking milk all over the place once again—and to finally have the product of my dreams to solve this problem feels full circle. This time around, I haven't had to buy a single breast pad—Milk is all I wear! I no longer wake up cold and wet from milk leaks, and it's the best feeling—not only to create this product that I needed and love but to create this product for all mothers out there so they don't have to deal with soaked clothes and bedsheets too.
Let's talk about the bra – how did you work out how to construct it?
In the early days, when we were first developing prototypes of the Milk bra, we researched performance fabrics and purchased yards of different fabric swatches from mills all over the world. We took out our own sewing machines and made pads, and I tested them while breastfeeding my firstborn. We tried hundreds of combinations.
What we landed on was this: wool—in particular, Merino due to its softness and antimicrobial properties—was by far the most superior fabric. Blended with other natural performance fabrics, it dried the fastest, and most importantly, it pulled the liquid away from your skin into an inner pad, which then dispersed the liquid inside.
Wool might seem like an odd choice, but the thing that makes it work so well is that wool regulates with your body temperature. So, unlike other fabrics that feel cold when they are wet against your skin, wool has this incredible ability to regulate with the temperature of your body, and it also dries much faster than anything else. Merino also felt so soft against sore nipples, so it was a no-brainer.
We also wanted our bras to last beyond breastfeeding and to become a staple in every mum's wardrobe, which is also why we made them stretchy and scrapped the need for fiddly front clips.
Why did you put such a strong emphasis on natural fabrics?
It was a non-negotiable for us right from the beginning. We have always steered away from plastic materials such as polyesters because, simply, we don't believe it's healthy for your skin—especially while breastfeeding. Although our Merino fabric is expensive—and milled in Australia—it's something that's really important to us. Quality and sustainability are at the core of everything we do.
What do you love most about having three kids?
Watching the boys meet their little sister, and having them at an age where they have been able to really bear witness to growing a little human, has been so special. They are always the first to jump into bed to cuddle her in the morning, and they always hold her hand in the car. It's brought us so much closer together as a family; we feel like we are this full-on little gang now, and I love it.
Are there any books/podcasts/journals that have inspired you on your journey into motherhood?
My favourite book ever on motherhood isn't specifically on motherhood, but it's called The Continuum Concept. It follows the journey of an Indigenous tribe in South America and how they raise their children—and, in particular, how it differs from how we raise ours in the Western world. The first time I read it, it felt like a strong reminder to trust my instinct as a mother and not to listen to all the noise out there on how I should be parenting. It felt like it gave me the permission to raise and nurture my children in a way that feels authentic to me. I believe all mothers have that instinct inside of them, and only they know what is right for them.
Aside from my own mother, whom I admire so deeply for her mothering, I also have close friends who are incredible mothers. Walking through life with them and our little ones is so precious to me. I have learnt so much from being in their presence.
Jessica, pictured at 40 weeks pregnant, wears our Milk Label Leakproof Milk Bralette in Almond, size L, paired with our Milk V Brief and Sleep Shorts in Almond, and French Brief in White, size 10.
