In Conversation with Innes Heywood
Meet Innes, mother and founder of Australian-designed and made swimwear label Innes Lauren. In this Milk Journal, we chat to her about early motherhood, her experience of birthing at home and raising her daughter in the hinterland of Byron Bay.
Photography by Lisa Sorgini
Raised in Bali before later moving to Australia, Innes has, in recent years, together with her partner Hadley, made another tropical place home, where they continue to raise their daughter Flo.
We visited Innes at her beautiful hinterland home, perched high in the hills with views stretching out to the Pacific. She welcomed us so warmly, and we’re honoured to share a glimpse into their gentle season of family life.
Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and who you share your home with?
Hi! I am Innes and I am a mama to our daughter Flo who is just about to turn 1. I am the founder and designer of Australian swimwear brand Innes Lauren and work from our home here in Byron Hinterland. I live with my partner Hadley, Flo and our golden retriever Harrigan.
What does a typical week with your family look like?
We are still finding our flow with what the week looks like, in the mornings I hang at home with Flo girl, we have breakfast, get ready for the day and head out to meet dada after the gym for a beach walk or coffee. Hadley works from home 2 days a week and then from a work space another 2 so when he is home, we get lots of help and all have lunch together which is so lovely. Tuesdays Flo and I go to our mums and bubs group on a friend's farm, sometimes we swim in the waterhole or hang by the flower patch. I love these days.. Mothering with other mums feels so light. Thursdays are our family days, we head to the farmers market, then have nude outdoor showers back at home. These days are nourishing and fun. On the weekends we love to see other friends, head to Belongil beach, to the river, out for breakfast. Coming into summer I have really enjoyed hosting, so I will try and do more! Our weeks are generally flexible which I am very grateful for.
Can you tell us about the birth of your daughter, how did this experience of birth shape you as a mother?
We had a home birth here in Coorabell. Flo was born on the 6th of Jan in the early morning just past midnight. We had a long labour, starting off walking along the beach, followed by all night and day and night at home moving with each contraction slowly intensifying. I had an amazing birth team, my rock Hadley our dog Harrigan and my beautiful friend who came to deliver combs for me to squeeze ended up staying until the birth. I thought Flo was going to be born in the pool but we ended up in the corner of our living room baring down holding onto a sarong in a squatting position, it was animalistic, beautiful and extremely challenging. The birth of Flo has given me confidence in my natural ability as a woman, and mother. I have a greater sense of trust in my nature.
What do you love most since becoming a mother?
Feeling my heart break open with so much love, for myself, for all mums, for my partner, for my mother. Watching Flo discover birds, watching her pick flowers. Listening to her giggle. Seeing the bond between Hadley and Flo and watching her face when he enters the room. Surprising myself with my capability as a mother.
Can you tell us about your breastfeeding journey - is it what you expected it to be?
Honestly it was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. The first feed moments after Flo was born was truly so magical, I was in awe of the human body and the way she found her way to the nipple. The early weeks were smooth and magical. I remember I used to forget which side I had fed her on last so this led to getting mastitis a few times. I later found out that I had an oversupply of milk so Flo would pull off and cough, this was also contributing to the mastitis. Because of Flo’s long birth, she was quite tight in her body and didn’t enjoy the cradle position as she got older, so we had to transition to feeding laying down, side feeding her. It was really challenging when we were out of the house, and to be honest there were days I wouldn’t leave very far to avoid struggling to feed a hungry Flo. Only now at almost 1 I feel we have found our flow, feeding anywhere and everywhere, she still prefers feeding at home but I don’t let this restrict my days. I do feel extremely depleted from breastfeeding but I know she wants to keep going, which I am happy to do for a little while longer, we will see!
Has motherhood changed the way you see yourself?
Definitely. Motherhood has made me realize what is really most important to me, to live a life of authenticity and honesty and this means showing up as an honest authentic me. Motherhood has also made me see how hard I was on myself, now I simply care less about things that would worry me previously, and choose to be more gentle on myself and others. I allow myself the grace to mess up and forgive myself because motherhood is complex and challenging.
Are there any resources that inspired you on your journey into motherhood?
The She Births course by Nadine Richardson was such wonderful support and inspiration for both Hadley and I going into the birth. Also the book ‘Gentle birth gentle mothering’ I took it away on our trip overseas when I was in my second trimester and found it so comforting. Documentaries and listening to birth stories were also inspiring.
Are there any rituals that you do together as a family that make life feel more easeful?
When Flo is fussy we go to our outdoor shower and have a nude shower together, she loves being outside in nature. During full moon we go outside on the grass and Flo loves looking at the moon and pointing at it. We also dance to music before bedtime and have a swing on our outdoor swing.
Can you tell us one piece of advice or lesson in life that you want to pass onto your daughter?
That possibility is always within reach of the imagination. A quote by Hadley that I love.
Innes wears our Milk Label Leakproof Milk Crop & Bralette in L in White, paired with the White French Mid Brief, size 8. + The Cocoa Leakproof Essential Milk Bra in M paired with Black Sleep Shorts in size 8.
