In Conversation With Rebecca Armour
There is no one way to feed a baby, and no single version of a breastfeeding story worth telling. For Rebecca Armour, recipe maker behind Raw Becca Bites, motherhood began with the arrival of her son Hughie at 36 weeks, followed by special care, feeding plans, pumping, mastitis and eventually, a decision to let breastfeeding go.
It wasn't the story she had imagines, but exactly the kind of story we believe deserves space here.
We also step into Bec's other great love, food, and share the recipe for the cookies that became her grab-and-go staple during those ravenous early days of motherhood.
Photos captured by: @kelking
Because feeding a baby can carry so much more than the practical act itself. Expectation, identity, guilt, judgement, relief and, sometimes, the realisation that choosing a different path can give you back something you desperately need.
In this Milk Journal, we speak with Bec about navigating an unexpected feeding journey, finding support in the moments she needed it most and learning to trust that a happy, thriving baby and a present, supported mum mattered more than how Hughie was fed.
For anyone meeting you for the first time, tell us a little about you and who's in your world right now.
I’m Bec, primary school teacher turned recipe enthusiast at @rawbeccabites_, raising my beautiful little boy, Hughie, with my husband, Nathan. And we can’t forget our first born, Maple, our ball obsessed groodle.
You shared that you were prepared for not knowing yourself, but not for not recognising your own thoughts. What did that look like day to day, and what helped you start feeling like you again?
Postpartum really has a way of making you learn more about yourself than ever before. I always knew that I would meet a new version of myself, and I did, and I love her very much, but I also met myself with crippling anxiety and what I now know, OCD. I didn’t know it at the time, but in those early moments, the lingering fear of perpetual doom completely consumed me, and I didn’t know why my brain had flipped upside down on me. Everything felt too much. From the outside looking in, I was a first-time mum, but from the inside, I was consumed with so many fears. I am proud that I sought help, and continue to now to help navigate what still lingers.
Before your baby arrived, what did you imagine breastfeeding would look like? And what did it actually look like?Before Hughie arrived, I had never put any pressure on myself for our journey. I always believed he would guide the way. It wasn’t until he was earthside, I felt I had to do everything I thought was the ‘right’ thing. Hughie arrived at 36 weeks, breached. He didn’t latch. We spent 5 days in special care with the priority of gaining weight and feeding. We were told he was given formula while in special care. I felt like I had failed. We were sent home with the plan to mix feed, and to continue prioritising breastfeeding. But that didn’t really go to plan.
Was there a point where you realised it wasn't going to plan? What support did you reach for, and was there anything you wish had been there?
Hughie hadn’t gained much weight, I then began pumping to do top up feeds, I then got mastitis, and to round it off a milk bleb (seriously painful). Being shown how to lance your own nipple, not something I ever thought I would have to do. I was miserable. It had been almost two months, and I felt like I was missing out on my son. I know there is great sacrifice in becoming a parent, but one day while I was pumping, I was watching my husband cuddle our son, and I knew I wanted those moments, I wanted the joy.
I had an incredible LC who told me kindly I could stop. She reminded me that this time is so precious, and I should be enjoying it more than anything. I still think about how lucky I was for a LC who looked out for me in those early days. I won’t lie, the transition to formula, I felt guilt and like a failure. I reached out to friends who had also experienced difficulties with breastfeeding and they were my biggest supporters. Connecting with people who truly understand what you’re going through really does make all the difference.
There can be a lot of feeling wrapped up in how we feed our babies. What came up for you, and how did you make peace with the way your journey unfolded?
Hughie was crying one morning on a walk, and I hadn’t packed a bottle because he’d fed just before we left. I remember an older gentleman rode past me and shook his head. I cried and felt like I failed because I couldn’t soothe him or feed him right then and there. I struggled to see my friends who had had babies at a similar time because they were breastfeeding and of course there would be group photos of them breastfeeding together. Social media was no better, reading comments about breastfeeding and people’s opinion on formula. It hurt.
Looking back now, of course my friends would never judge, and the opinion of a stranger, it doesn’t matter. But, in those moments, I really felt the world judging me.
Hughie smiles, he giggles, he is a happy, healthy, thriving little boy. And he has a mum and dad who can equally do all those things beside him. In the end, that brought me peace.
What would you say to a mum who's in the thick of it right now and whose feeding journey looks nothing like she pictured?
Be kind to yourself. It’s ok if your journey doesn’t look like others, and its ok to not be ok with that. You haven’t done anything wrong or are doing anything wrong. It will get so much better. Don’t struggle in silence though, connect with others with similar experiences. Support is your best friend.
Food is such a big part of your world. How did your relationship with cooking and eating shift once you became a mum?
I would love for cooking and creating to be a big part of Hughie’s childhood. It’s so exciting that we are now at that stage where he is really interested in different flavours. I've really loved creating snacks and dinners for him, that we can all enjoy together. I really value quality ingredients, and produce, and will always stand by the fact you can make anything delicious with real food. I’d love for Hughie to always find more value in a home cooked meal over something store bought.
Personally, I’ve learnt that preparation is a must. It’s so easy to forget about yourself or run out of time. I found I’ve really had to prioritise meal prepping so it’s one less thing to think about. I am very grateful for my husband, who takes the lead with dinners and always has made sure that there are leftovers, so I am never undernourishing myself.
Tell us the story behind these cookies. When did you start making them, and do you have any tips, swaps or freezer tricks for making a batch go further?
I was ravenous in those early days, and I am sucker for a quick snack, so these felt like such a perfect recipe that I could just grab and go. I also found I could enjoy them no matter the time of day.
I’d love to say they’re freezer friendly, but a batch never lasted me that long to find out!
These cookies can be really versatile, you can swap out the nut butter to a mixed seed butter or peanut butter to mix up the flavour profile too. I recommend using a high grade dark chocolate and chopping your chocolate into very small chunks. This will help the cookies hold their shape a lot better.
(recipe at the bottom of this journal entry)
(recipe at the bottom of this journal entry)
What's the meal or snack you'd drop on a new mum's doorstep?
A big batch of pre prepped freezer friendly lasagne, with a side of cookies of course. Not having to think about dinner in those first few weeks really does change the game. If all you have to do is add a side of greens, then that’s a big win.
What did you need from what you wore in those early months, and did that change as your feeding journey changed? Which Milk piece did you find yourself reaching for most?
I needed comfort, and something that made me feel ‘put together’. The Leakproof Milk Bralette was my absolute favourite piece to wear. It was on me 24/7. Even when I transitioned to pumping it was the perfect fit to secure the pump also. I also found the high briefs perfect for my c-section scar. Truthfully, nothing compared, I never ‘leaked’ through when I was wearing my Milk pieces. And to this day the sleep shorts and high briefs are my bedtime best friends.
Can you tell us one piece of advice or lesson in life that you want to pass onto your Son?
It’s not about how your treat people when other people are watching, but how you treat people when no one else is watching. Be kind to others, because it’s just who you are.
I still remember when we first spoke and you reached out about my journey. I felt ashamed that I didn’t really align with a ‘breastfeeding’ brand anymore, and your reply was that my journey was my journey and you wanted to be part of it no matter what.
That act of kindness is what I want my son to learn. Small moments, just like that, truly leave a lasting impression that can carry so much positive impact.
