In Conversation with Jessie Whittaker
Meet Jessie Whittaker, founder of The CALMM, a Rose Bay wellness space specialising in bodywork, recovery therapies and nervous system support. As a mother of two, Jessie spends her days caring for others while navigating the wonderfully messy, sleep-deprived and deeply rewarding season of raising her daughter Addi and baby Rhodes.
In this Milk Journal, we chat to Jessie about her experience of becoming a mother for the second time, the unexpected joys of watching her daughter step into the role of big sister, and the realities of postpartum recovery when self-care often takes a back seat. From the power of regular bodywork and breastfeeding on the go to learning the art of saying no, Jessie offers an honest and refreshing perspective on motherhood, healing and finding grace in the chaos.
What feels different about becoming a mother for the second time compared to the first?
That the sleep deprivation was nothing last time.…haha nar becoming a second time mum is the best. You can enjoy them so much more as you know what’s up. My little man is a full blown heart stopper.
Is there a moment recently where your daughter surprised you with the way she’s stepped into the role of big sister?
She surprises me every day. Her intelligence is wild for a 3 year old. She knows more than me, especially with my baby brain at the moment.
One moment I recall is when she saw him crying and ran over to sing “you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when sky’s are grey” and gave him a toy. He stopped within seconds and smiled at her.
How has the transition from one child to two reshaped your identity, your routines, or even your energy?The old double trouble has really taken my energy for a spin. I’m pretty sure chronic fatigue is knocking at my door. Routines are rolling over smoothly. Addi runs the show and Rhodes just slots on in.On the other hand, my self care routines have gone out the window as I’m time ‘deficient’ but it will return, I can see the light.
What’s a small moment from this year that you want to remember forever?
Waking up snuggling my 2 babies in bed. Rhodes smiling his face off and Addi saying “morning mumma, I had a great sleep, did you have a great sleep”.
As a massage therapist, how has your professional knowledge supported - or challenged - your own postpartum recovery?
I am extremely lucky to have self lymphatic drainage knowledge. I've been massaging my stomach and body cupping post babes in order to keep my fascia healthy and my body regulated. I'm also all over my vitamin and mineral intake which keeps me ticking. My nervous system could do with a hug. Once sleep returns to normal, it will all settle.
What are the most common things you wish every new mum understood about their body in the fourth trimester?
It’s all going to be ok. Time heals everything. From a body perspective, go and get your belly massaged! For the C-sections ladies out there, seek out someone to help you get your mobility back, stomach fluid drained and scar moving, feeling and looking more discreet.
What’s one traditional or holistic practice you believe every mother should consider postpartum?
Get regular body work. You are working in over time and it doesn’t stop. “Put your oxygen mask on” before others. Without a healthy you, how will you support your new babes and fam?
How has running The CALMM influenced your approach to your own healing and motherhood?
I’m obsessed with understanding the body and how we are made up. I’m forever looking at new ways to fuel our bodies and support cell regeneration in order to feel less inflamed and function “normally”. I definitely take this in to my every day. I can’t unlearn what I know and it’s been a good and bad thing. Sometimes being blissfully unaware is where it’s at.
What is something about breastfeeding that has surprised you - even as a second-time mum?
I love it. It’s legit the best. I guess this time around I have a deeper understanding around it. There is a large amount of research out there, on the nervous system connection between baby and mother, how breast milk can cure some cancers and how its full of stem cells that will heal pretty much anything. I’m so grateful I have been able to feed both babies. I’ll keep it up until the boobs run dry.
What’s your go-to breastfeeding setup at home while juggling a toddler and a newborn?
I breastfeed on the run. There is no set up. Less is more. Rhodes feeds while I clean, go to the toilet, shower, I've even massaged someone with him in the carrier feeding. Addi knows Rhodes “wants boobie” when he’s crying and she’s stoked that he’s quiet when he jumps on.
Breastfeeding can be both beautiful and demanding. What has helped you feel most comfortable, supported and like yourself throughout your feeding journey?
Breastfeeding has been one of the most beautiful parts of motherhood for me. While feeding itself has come quite naturally, what I’ve learnt is that feeling supported as a mother makes all the difference.
Staying hydrated, nourishing myself with nutrient-dense foods and creating small moments of comfort throughout the day have been just as important as feeding my baby. As mothers, we spend so much time caring for everyone else that we often forget how important it is to feel cared for ourselves.
I’ve come to appreciate the products that make life easier during this season. Something as simple as comfortable, functional nursing wear can have such an impact on how you move through your day.
The Milk Label bras and my good old steel caps (silverettes) have become some of those everyday essentials for me, supporting me through feeding, snuggles, naps and when I’m in the go. More than anything, I’ve realised that breastfeeding isn’t just about nourishing a baby. It’s about supporting us mums too. When I feel comfortable, nourished and supported, everything seems to flow with a little more ease.
What’s one thing that has helped you feel physically supported during breastfeeding and postpartum this time around?
My portable Bubka pump, hands down. As much as I love breastfeeding, it’s given me the tiniest bit of freedom back by allowing me to tap out for a hot minute when needed. Case in point: Snoop Dogg came to Australia and I managed to go completely baby-free. I mean, if Snoop’s in town, I’m not missing that.
I also LOVE my Milk bras! When you’re feeding, cuddling, carrying babies and sleeping in broken chunks, comfort becomes everything. They’ve been one of those simple things that make the day-to-day feel a little easier.
What does rest look like for you right now—realistically, not ideally?
I don’t remember what rest looks like but I’m sure we will be friends again someday soon. Until then my friend.
What’s one thing you’re actively trying to let go of in this season of life?
Social commitments. I’m not one to say ‘no’ but it’s been my new theme since pregnancy. I had a rough old trot so the only choice was a, some what, event free life. From the outside in, I look like a hurricane, juggling work, babies and RnB dance floors but for the most part I’m in the “no” lane.
Can you tell us one piece of advice or lesson in life that you want to pass onto your daughter?
Be kind. Period. Kindness wins every day of the week.
