In Conversation with Jennifer Gilmore

Meet Jennifer, an Australian model, events producer, and new mother to her son, Anton. For over a decade Jennifer has called Berlin home, building a life full of creative community alongside her German fiancé Paul, their little dog Gigi, and now, their baby boy. 

Photography by Paul Krause

In this Milk Journal, Jennifer speaks with us about navigating early motherhood across two continents, the intensity of birth, and the quiet, deep bond that followed through breastfeeding her son — and how, through all of it, motherhood has brought her more fully home to herself.

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and who you share your home with?
Hey Milk. I’m an Australian living in Berlin with my German fiancé, Paul, our son, Anton, and our Greek fur baby, Gigi. I’ve been based in Berlin for over ten years, though I travel frequently around Europe for work and make sure to get back home to Sydney once or twice a year. I’ve been modeling since I was very young, and I’ve recently started my own business in events production.

How has becoming a mother in Berlin shaped your experience of motherhood compared to life in Australia?
Anton is now seven months old, and we’ve spent half of his little life so far between Berlin and Sydney. This time has really secured for us that we have two homes. Both places feel equally grounding when it comes to motherhood, though for very different reasons.

In Berlin, there’s a strong sense of community and solidarity as it’s a city full of creative expats who show up for one another. In Australia, there’s the softness of safety, nature, and an inherent positivity in the people that creates a very gentle landing. At such a young and tender age, you realise that a solid and nurturing foundation of love (and laughter!) is what a baby needs most. When that is there, everything else naturally follows.

Can you tell us about the birth of your son, how did this experience of birth shape you as a mother?
The birth of Anton was without a doubt the most intense, out-of-body experience of my life to date. It tested me in ways I hadn’t expected, taught me to surrender to whatever comes next and reminded me of the importance of preparing for any possible outcome. 

I was not the biggest fan of the conventional medical system to begin with, and my experience in a hospital definitely reinforced some of those feelings. My labor was long and unfortunately we felt that they were constantly trying to push us to speed things up. It was tricky to navigate in the moment, something that I will be better prepared for next time. Most importantly, we got through it and both Anton and I came out healthy. It definitely taught me to value your own voice, especially when you or your baby are involved. No one knows you better than yourself so don’t be afraid to stand up for that. No matter how uncomfortable it may feel in the moment. 

What does your daily rhythm look like lately as a new mother - and, how have you found community where you live?
Lately, our days are pretty full. My little family and I are always on the move. It’s rare to find us not doing something. Between our individual projects, working together on projects, walking Gigi, maintaining a very social life, and now having our son in the mix, there’s always something happening. That said, our absolute favourite part of the day is the morning. Waking up together with Anton in the middle of us exploring his voice in happy baby pose, Gigi by our feet yawning and stretching, all of us giggling together in bed. Those moments feel incredibly special, and I already know I’ll cherish them for the rest of my life knowing quite well how fleeting every stage is. 

We have a very solid community in Berlin that I feel is unique to that city. Transient or not, people flock to that city in search of acceptance and, more often than not, they find it. Everyone is so inspiring, supportive and fun. I couldn’t dream of a better network and community. 

Has living abroad changed the way you see yourself as a woman and a mother?
Living abroad has changed me entirely. I’ve spent my whole adult life immersed in a different culture and language, and it’s shaped how I see myself and the world. I now move between two cultures and feel grateful to understand both so deeply. There are moments when the lines blur, which is probably why Germans and Australians tend to connect easily, and there are areas where the differences feel worlds apart. Living this way has made me more fearless, more resilient, and more trusting of myself. As a mother, that self-trust has become one of the most important things I carry with me.

What has surprised you most about your postpartum journey?
What’s surprised me most is how me I still feel. I had imagined postpartum would change me entirely. I pictured becoming that version of a parent we all remember from our own childhoods, just with my face on it. Looking back, that does feel a little naive. Instead, I’m pleasantly surprised to feel more myself than ever. I feel more grounded in my desires, more confident in my choices, and more accepting of myself and the body that has carried me through than ever before.

However, whilst I feel more rooted in my true self than ever before, postpartum definitely humbles you as the accumulated sleep deprivation really does catch up with you at some point. When you are exclusively breastfeeding, there really are no breaks. It is simply full on. So that’s also been quite surprising.. I don’t think anyone can really prepare you for that.  

How has your breastfeeding experience been & is it what you expected it would be?As soon as Anton was born, he found his way to the nipple and has never left. It was the most bizarre feeling.. The freshest of babies knowing instinctually what to do the moment I held him in my arms. From then on, our journey with breastfeeding has been a very beautiful one and I am very grateful for that, knowing quite well how difficult it is for some. It provides us with a moment of togetherness, our world stops around us and we lock eyes. He will smile at me through his gulps. It’s the sweetest thing and I can feel that the comfort the boob gives him is unparalleled. It’s his place of calm, no matter what is going on around us. 

What helps you feel grounded and supported while navigating motherhood away from family?
Speaking to other mothers. There is so much wisdom to be shared and sisterhood within motherhood. Shared experience is a huge part of navigating this wild and wonderful chapter and it’s definitely kept me sane knowing that others are dealing with all the highs and lows too. My incredible partner also deserves a mention here. We have never felt more like a team than now, and never have I been more sure of my decision to do life together with him than today. We hold up the sky for each other. 

What’s a tiny detail about your baby boy — a sound, a smell, a habit — that you wish you could keep forever?
Oh my, I could go on forever! Where to begin.. If it’s not the way his hand dances over my chest as he feeds, how he grips onto us like a koala in a tree, the sigh he made on his first night back from the hospital, how he curls into the nook of my belly to sleep every night, how he curls his toes when he smiles, how he raises his hand as if to say please do not disturb me I’m busy napping. Anton is just the happiest little man. From the moment he could smile, he really hasn’t stopped. Everyone says it’s unbelievable. A happy bubby who smiles to every new person, who gives you cheeky eye contact, who nestles in your chest when he feels overjoyed and looks back out with curiosity. I wish I could bottle up this stage forever, but I’m even more excited for the next and the next and the next. 

Can you tell us one piece of advice or lesson in life that you want to pass onto your son?
Let go of the things that do not serve you - one of my biggest personal life lessons. And that a smile is your greatest asset.