In Conversation With: Bobby Clark

Photography by Odin Wilde

Today we visit a dear friend, Mother and Artist Bobby Clark in her home in Melbourne. Bobby is the ultimate creative mother. She has a carefree, kind and fun nature that seeps into every facet of her life, which especially through motherhood is special to witness. We are honoured to share her words on how motherhood has shaped and evolved her.

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself, the home you live in, and who you share it with?
Hello. My name is Robyn but known by most as Bobby. I am a Scottish artist and photographer and live in Melbourne with my husband Steven who is a sculptor (and also Scottish) and our 4 and a half year old son James. We also have a little blind, mostly deaf Staffy called Scout and are expecting our second baby due early September.

Can you tell us in what ways motherhood has impacted your creativity? Has it changed where your passions lie?
Motherhood changed my creativity in many ways as time was no longer fluid. My son was now the center of my universe and I had to adapt my work around him. There was a monumental change of perspective when he was born and I also lost a huge part of who I was and had to refind myself. Not in a negative way but almost in an unbirthing of the person I was before. Things that used to matter didn’t. I knew that to be the mother I wanted to be, he had to be my main focus and my career or aspirations would maybe take on new, slower forms in the early years of his life. Prioritising and organisation becomes the new way to work, less fluid and sporadic. Learning to juggle all the things at once while remaining inspired and self motivated to create is the hardest to maintain. Now that he is 4 I have so much more freedom but the discipline of self accountability is wavering. These days I spend more of my time on photography than painting. I have to lean into whatever medium is flowing more. I love photography, I love the romance of finding stolen moments in the ordinary. I do miss painting but I know it will come back when the time is right. I am hoping that time is postpartum with the long cozy days with a newborn. I will set up a little painting spot at home and try to reconnect to my practice.


You’re a very cool mother. I’ve personally watched you with your son James and have really admired your ability to just let him be a kid and not restrict his childhood sense of wonder. How has this side of motherhood flourished in you? 
Thank you, it’s really nice to be seen in that way because it’s the kind of parent that I really wanted to be. For me, it’s so important for James to have the freedom to explore the world truly like a kid. I had so much freedom growing up in Scotland. We would be chucked out the door on school holidays with some snacks and we would go off exploring until the street lights came on. Because he was born as the world went into lockdown I really made an effort to encourage him to be as independent and confident as we could. I always let him wander, get covered in mud, draw on the walls, lie naked in puddles. That time for children is so special and sacred. Before they become aware of themselves and what others think of them, I really want him to be as free as possible to figure out who he is on his own. Once he enters the schooling system he will be loaded with do’s and don’ts and all the rules will be laid hard on him so I want to make sure he experiences his childhood as free as possible while instilling strong core values but having the most amount of fun. It definitely came easy to me as my personality is really laid back same with Steve. Our parenting styles match and we both have really strong values in how we want to raise him. We are the opposite of helicopter parents.

Last year you released your first art book “Art Class”. Are there any art activities that are your go to with your son that you would recommend to our readers with little ones?
The most important thing is time not action. My favourite memories with James are drawing or painting together. I always encourage him to draw and paint. Recently our favourite exercise is to pick out a book and draw the illustrations inside. We look at what the story is about and I teach him how to draw what he sees. How to see colour and form in his way with no rules. One day he asked to draw on my jacket. It was so out of the blue and the best idea so I immediately went and got our fabric pens and he drew me with the baby in my tummy on the front and a huge drawing on the back the whole length of the coat. I let him draw on my clothes because nothing means more to me than his creativity. Now everywhere I go people comment on that trench. It’s the coolest thing I own. Sometimes people get stuck in the rules, but I love to break them, especially when it comes to art. He has drawn all over our furniture which I love. We all draw on them together and add things over time. We let his friends add to them too when they come over and the look on their face when I say they can draw on our drawers is priceless. I love seeing kids express themselves. Their minds are incredible. We do explain that you can draw on all the things at home but not in anyone else's homes. Just ours. The best recommendation for people to encourage creativity at home is to cover a big wall or the floor with paper. Get all your art supplies out and just create together. It can be big colourful scribbles or a giant rainbow. Let the kid lead. You will never regret drawing or painting together.

Can you tell us a little bit about your breastfeeding experience so far?
My pregnancy and birth with James was a dream. I had the most beautiful experience. The struggles came with breastfeeding. I felt like I was doing it wrong and got stuck in my own head. Looking back I was probably fine at it. I saw the hospital lactation consultant every single week for 3 months. Once I gave in, we found our way but it was a long journey. I hope this time round it comes easier with experience. With James I feel like I put too much pressure on myself and it really affected my supply. I fed James for 11 months and our journey ended in the most beautiful way. We would always do out night feed in the bath together. It was my favourite time of the day. Then one night as he sat on my knee in the water he looked at my boobs, went to feed, stopped, shook his little head then patted my boob and hugged me. That was his very last feed. He decided for us. I love how even at 11 months his independence and strong nature came through. 


How has motherhood changed your relationship with yourself and your partner?
Motherhood taught me to respect myself and my body. I grew up hating my body and most things about myself. My inner dialogue was so bad. When you have a child you reframe your inner voice. How could I speak to myself the way I had been, I would never want James to speak to or see himself the way I had for years. That was a huge lesson. Watching your body grow your baby gives you the biggest sense of respect that is so transformative. I have never felt more beautiful than I did when I was pregnant with James. I found a home in my own body at the same time he did. There’s still a lot of work to be done with accepting how my body looks post babies but I’ll get there. 

Steven and I have had to really adapt to having less time together which I am sure will only be magnified with adding another baby. We have to make sure we find time alone together without James and it’s something that can feel hard when we both work so much and are so tired but for us to make sure we stay connected we have to take time alone together. We don’t have family here to help so it can sometimes be a challenge. We have also scheduled our week so we also have time to ourselves. Steve has Monday and Wednesdays when he plays soccer and goes for a sauna/massage and I have Tuesdays and Thursdays. That balance really works for us. In the later stages of my pregnancy Steven takes James a lot of weekends. They have the best time going on ‘boys adventures’ while I nest at home and rest. 

Are there any books/podcasts/journals that have inspired you on your journey into motherhood? 
I have to say I don’t really listen to any podcasts or read much parent driven literature. I prefer to listen to podcasts that feed my creativity and practice which makes me a much better parent. I find there can be so much noise that I prefer to work on us as a family and instill our values in the things we read and learn. Steve listens to a lot of Jordan Peterson and we discuss each new phase of parenting together as a team. I take bits here and there from things along the way but I prefer to read books on art and culture instead of mothering because I am quite clear in how I want to raise James. My friend Annika (Hein) and I created a really strong friendship group when we had James and her daughter Vahla around the same time. The village was so important to us and we both didn’t have one in a family sense close to us, so we created a group of mums that have now become best friends. I learn so much from watching them parent and we talk openly too about each challenge or phase of motherhood so I feel I get everything I need from them.

Can you tell us one piece of advice or lesson in life that you want to pass onto your children?
Be kind. Empathy and kindness is very important to me. Having compassion with people and others around you is one thing I actively teach James. When he was born I did his birth chart, he’s Aquarius. I was so happy to see he will be incredible with people from all walks of life. I want him to understand the value of hard work. To not be afraid to chase the things he wants in life. I want him to never be afraid to fail or make a mistake as they are our biggest lessons in life. To be confident in himself and know that anything is possible with hard work and determination.

@bobbyclark____